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Sunday, May 20, 2012 ..:: Main ::..   Login
 Welcome

If you have reached this page through web browsing then you really ought to get out more.  If you arrived here deliberately, congratulations, but you still ought to get out more.

Perhaps these podcasts should be called 'The musings of a stranger in paradise', because despite having lived for fifteen years in Hawaii, I still feel out of place here, like a wingtip loafer on a surfboard.  Not that feeling out of place is an altogether bad thing, especially for a writer, but just once in a while, I’d like to doff my shirt, scuff my soles and lapse into that curious locution called ‘pidgin’, which distinguishes the belonging from the merely longing.

For those unfamiliar with life in Hawaii, but who would like to know more, here is a little saying that I just made up: "Don’t eat the turtles and always wave back at the sea," which is, as well as being completely meaningless, as good a good place as any to start…

Thanks for listening.

S.

(Hawaiianpunchlines podcasts are available through itunes, zune and countless other podcast providers.)

For comments or writing assignments please contact Saul at:

 saulrollason@gmail.com

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 Podcasts

Arab culture has given us many gifts, from the bewildering, like algebra, to the intrusive, like alcohol. Booze can be both a cure and a complaint. It can cause proposals and divorces, serenity and bloodshed. It oils the wheels and slams on the brakes. It is giddy with power, yet bereft of responsibility. A shameless mistress indeed.....

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We live in the rainiest town in America. I have mold where amoeba fear to tread. So once in a while, when the yard looks like a melted hockey rink, we drive over to Kona, known in these parts as 'The Bright Side', where tourists swallow Mai Tais and ersatz Polynesian culture in equal measure.

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I am in an abusively passive-aggressive, co-dependent relationship.....with the internet. It pummels me with requests, admonitions and sometimes even flattery and I let it walk all over me. I'd complain to my congressman, if I could find his email address.

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'Middle age' and 'overweight' seem to go together like 'peanut butter' and 'jelly'. Like so many others who seek deliverance from the sin of gluttony, I try to diet and being a little slow-witted, am always chasing yesteryear's fad: "Paging Mr. Atkins!..........."

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There's a lot to be said for slipping and groping your way along a river trail in Hawaii, and believe me I said it, loudly, every time I fell over.

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Slippahs (or flip-flops) are as ubiquitous in Hawaii as lava and tattoos. Anyone here who does not own at least three pairs is either severely disabled or German.

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Mauna Kea, Hawaii's 14,000 ft. tall mountain, towers over the island like a benign god. On its head are littered silver beads, which, on closer inspection, turn out to constitute one of the greatest arrays of optical telescopes in the world.

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Sometimes our fifteen minutes of fame can seem like fifteen hours. This podcast is the story of my experience on that most popular of gameshows, Jeopardy. An experience I'd happily exchange for a small kiss from Vanna White.

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Living under the shadow of a volcano can be testing. When the conditions are 'just so', one lungfull of its noxious gases will make you feel like you've run a mile along Santa Monica Boulevard during rush hour. Naturally though, there are benefits........

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A Sunday morning romp through the foliage of Hawaii to the most spectacular valley Hawaii has to offer - Waipio - the valley of kings, or in our case, the valley of a great big albino dog.

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